Jan. 7th, 2012

I know I did this a week before the new year but I'm just putting it out there that if we're not that close and you're worried about awkwardness, please, feel free to defriend me. I'm not gonna say it won't hurt, 'cause it will (unless we seriously never speak) and my feelings are so fucking wrought right now. But we all have to do fandom our own way and I do fandom out in the open, no holds barred.

I love every single person on my flist right now, in one way or another, and you're all here for a reason. I don't question your friendships or fandom allegiances and want everyone to get along at the very core.

This might seem hypocritical to those of you who already know that I mod Mean Merry Merlin, but it isn't. I believe in anonymous spaces as places to express yourself away from your username. I think that sometimes you have an unpopular opinion that you worry your flist might not like (which might seem silly, but it's on par with how many different kinds of people are in fandom) and you can go share that there. No anon meme is free of wank or trolling or hate, but neither is the world, so in that case, it's representative. And for anyone who's spent more than a minute at the Merlin anon meme, you'll know that I've gotten my fair share of criticism and hate (warranted and not), and while I won't defend the hate itself, I will defend the anon meme and its right to exist and people's right to use it.

Now, this may not be how others do fandom, and that's okay. But I feel like that's just one place in fandom, you don't have to go there, you don't have to see it, and I normally try not to bring it up too much (and if it makes you uncomfortable when I do- please tell me), but we're all human.

I'm not trying to make this about any sort of...us vs them or anything, I just wanted to put this out there because of Reasons and Events and if you know, you know and are probably affected and I'm sorry (seriously and honestly), and if you don't know - enjoy the ignorance. Really. I just wanted to lay it out as I see it and let you all know that I love this fandom and all it encompasses, unless people I care about are hurt. I want everyone to love this fandom, too and hope you all do. Wish it was still all prats and unicorns and beachside dates, but maybe it isn't, maybe I'm too idealistic at the core.

I'm a little bit brokenhearted now, but thanks to my friends I'm realizing that the only person I can control and have a say in anything about is me, so that's what this post is about - me.

Sorry for the emo, but I just wanted to put this out there. It's probably not all I wanted to say and may not make sense, but yeah. That's that ♥

eta: this post is public and will remain public, and the comments are not screened.

eta2: as always, anon on, ip-logging off.

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