merlin 4x03

[sheswatching]

This can't be it. Right? Fuck. This is it. Jesus. I got so hardcore beyond everything triggered by this episode, I was sobbing basically the whole way through. Fuck. AND WHEN ARTHUR KISSED UTHER'S HEAD? I did that with my mom. And fucking Gwen. Look, don't defriend me for Gwen bashing 'cause this is obviously trigger-related, but srsly - habving people around who don't give a fuck about the person you're grieving over or who don't know them, that just makes you feel even more alone in your head, so her line to Arthur about just being there for him, sure I get it (and I know Merlin said a similar thing, but Uther was actually dead and not right there as Merlin said it), but JFC, Gwen, came off pretty fucking insensitive.

God. Bradley fucking James. You flawless most beautiful human being. You broke me. You were stunning. Your acting was flawless and so spot on.

I'm also feeling a huge huge HUGE disconnect with fandom right now, because everyone's squeeing over A/M and I'm like...JFC the things Arthur must be going through right now. And I'm glad Merlin's there for him, but I just guess this hit me in a lot of personal ways that I'm like who cares about A/M - his father just died. Definitely a complete Arthur stan here, or just so single-minded right now tht everything but Uther's death and Arthur feeling guilt over it...such personal triggers. God, his poor daddy issues. I just want to hide him from the world now. Oh man.

To sum up. I don't know if/how I'll be able to move on from this, you guys.

Comments

[eurydice72.livejournal.com]

This was All About Arthur. And anyone who says otherwise is watching the show for the wrong reasons. They are seeing what they choose to see, but the fact of the matter is, Bradley owned this episode from start to finish.

I'll be right there to overidentify with you, though my triggers might be different from yours. Because I get what you're going through, and I'm here for whatever you need.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

I also was struck by how odd Gwen's comment was, that she wasn't being kind to Uther for Uther's sake? How sad for Uther, you know? Do the writers realize how that paints her--or do they simply see htat as normal, and good?

And wow, Bradley James has completely and thoroughly stolen me this series. He has absolutely soared in his acting this year, and these last couple of episodes have been simply amazing work. I rewatched parts of it in silence, just to watch his facial expressions - Arthur's aloneness.

Why didn't Merlin stand up when Arthur came out of the room from being there all night? Oddly, that really bugs me, and what I kept mulling over, and what we're supposed to think about that. Arthur is King now, and above everyone, and that distance is important - I am glad he sees Merlin as his friend, but the Knights treat him with more respect than Merlin does.

What keeps drawing me back this particular series is to see Bradley James act in the face of all Arthur is and will go through--am very excited to see how he continues to grow as King.

[riventhorn.livejournal.com]

All that Arthur goes through in this ep--it's just so powerful and heart-wrenching. I think I've watched the scene where Uther is hurt about five times now and I just cry all the way through. And the scene where Arthur goes to mourn by Uther's body--I really connected to it as well because it reminded me of when my grandmother died last year and that moment of looking at a person's body and realizing that they're really gone. I just feel so much for him there. And how despite his guilt and grief, he faces his coronation like he's supposed to, like a true king, and even manages to joke a little with Merlin. Yeah. Bradley does an amazing job in this ep.

[istne-pieklo.livejournal.com]

I remember Gwen said smth similar to Gaius in the series premiere, that she was doing it for Arthur, and when it came up here again, I was like: Don't even think of repeating that to Arthur himself! But she did b/c obviously she's a fucking moron (or the writers think it's soooo romantic). Honestly, I don't need another reason to hate Gwen.
Arthur kissing Uther's head... My Mom did that with my Grandpa and it was painful to watch. This episode is such a strange mix of crack (Old Merlin XDDD) and pure heartbreak. Even Morgana seemed rattled by Uther's death...

[hermette.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry you got triggered so hard, bb. That's the worst feeling. :hugs you:

[eldee.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[chicaintcheap.livejournal.com]

aw :( bb, you feeling better?